Sunday, January 13, 2008

a loud fart erupts from the husband’s derriere.


Wow. Five posts already. I thought starting my own blog would be so difficult! I really thought I would have nothing to say. But here I am on my sixth post and it all feels so easy. So natural. I guess I’m just made for this spill your guts and bare your soul to the entire world thing.

Actually, I guess it's not the entire world. It's really only the people who have access to the internet. Oh, and only the people with basic computer literacy. Actually, I guess it’s more like only the people with literacy in general. Or, at least only the people with a grasp of the English language who have access to a computer with internet access and must be willing to read my silly ramblings off the aforementioned computer off the aforementioned internet. I guess that excludes the better part of a billion people on this planet, so I think I’m safe to say just about anything in this blog because Nobody Will Read This Anyway.

Here’s something that happened:

SCENE

INT. BEDROOM, SOMEWHERE ON THE WEST COAST OF CANADA - NIGHT

FADE IN:

A WOMAN lies in bed laughing to herself quietly. The room is dark except for the glow of a clock radio which reads 11:43. She wears a shitty old t-shirt that she bought outside the Vatican in Rome and a pair of man’s pajama bottoms. She’s cold (because it’s Canada), and yet, she giggles.

A MAN walks into the room. Luckily, it’s the woman’s husband and not some other guy because that would be scary. He’s not wearing anything. (Actually he is, but the imagery is better if he’s naked, especially because he's cold too.)

HUSBAND
Why are you laughing?

WIFE
Oh, I was just thinking about something silly.

HUSBAND
(climbing into bed)
What?

WIFE
I just wrote an email to Diana that I thought was really wacky but it was probably just stupid so now I’m laughing because she going to read it and think I’m a dumbass.

HUSBAND
You are a dumbass.

WIFE
Thanks.

HUSBAND
You know what I think is wacky?

WIFE
(sincerely)
No. What?

A loud fart erupts from the husband’s derriere.

HUSBAND

That's wacky!

The wife bursts into fits of laughter. She laughs so hard that tears run down her face. A noxious gas emerges from under the covers and almost suffocates her as she gasps for breath between howls of laughter. The husband quickly falls asleep. The wife lies awake. Laughing alone in the dark.

FADE OUT.


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