Ten years ago today, on a rainy Vancouver day, Balazs and I decided to marry each other.
It was a wonderful occassion that I will never forget. We had a small wedding surrounded by the people we love. I felt beautiful and Balazs looked handsome. There was no stress. Only laughter and love.
And even though Balazs and I are completely different people now, ten years later we still love each other.
And it hasn’t always been easy. Especially when Csilla was born and we both had to give up all of the selfish behaviour that had defined us for most of our lives. Especially when sleep became a thing of the past. Before Csilla was born, Balazs and I considered sleeping an extreme sport. We held the World Cup of Sleeping almost every weekend.
But now that Csilla is on the scene, we sleep less, but we work together more. I think I love Balazs The Father even more than I love Balazs The Husband. As a father, everything wonderful about his personality has been magnified. When I see Balazs with Csilla, the gentlest, kindest, funniest and most imaginative parts of his personality are allowed to shine.
Just the other day, I felt my heart swell with the idea that maybe the roughest parts of our relationship were over and the only place to go was up. I truly envisioned us enjoying old age together; laughing about the difficulties we had when Csilla was first born.
Rocking on the porch we would laugh out loud and say, “Do you remember the year when we said the word Divorce more than we said the words I Love You?”
“What we were thinking? Wasn’t that crazy?”
“Imagine all the wonderful memories we would have missed if we’d called it quits and given up?”
I hate to think about how heartbroken I would have felt if Balazs and I had decided to go our separate ways. All I can say is that I’m glad we didn’t give up. With a little give and take every day we are finding a way to be together and thrive.
On this, our tenth wedding anniversary, I thought I’d share a few little facts about my husband, Balazs, for your reading pleasure. (And in case you don’t want to read this entire post mumbling his name in your head, read the pronunciation guide in my sidebar).
1. Balazs is an extremely private person. (I, on the other hand, am an open book). But I respect his privacy, so you will not find Balazs on the pages of this blog very often. Today is your lucky day.
2. Balazs was born and raised in Budapest, Hungary and lived there until he moved to Vancouver when we got married.
3. Until 1989, Hungary was a communist country. Balazs recalls very clearly how difficult it was to grow up under the oppression of Russian occupation.
4. As a child, Balazs was obligated to become a member of the Communist Young Pioneers. He says it was sort of like the boy scouts for communists. I don’t know why, but my brother loves to bug him about this. We always laugh when he does.
5. Balazs learned to speak English by watching 21 Jump Street. Johnny Depp is still one of his heroes. 21 Jump Street was filmed in Vancouver. They once shot an episode in my best friend’s house when I was a teenager. Balazs and I saw Johnny Depp from about two feet away at the Cannes Film Festival. It was amazing. Andrea Bocelli’s Con Te Partiro was playing over the loud speakers. We played that song at our wedding. Listening to it just now as I linked to YouTube made me cry.
6. Balazs has a better vocabulary in English than I do, but still speaks with a slight accent. Most people think he is French.
7. Balazs is fiercely loyal. If he likes you and cares about you, he could and would literally walk to the end of the earth to help you.
8. Balazs is hilarious. Hilarious. Like, Jim-Carrey-totally-silly-crazy-kooky and ridonkulously funny hilarious. Unfortunately he lets very few people see this. Most people who have ever met him would probably say he is contained and polite.
9. Balazs is passionate about film. I have no use for imdb.com. Balazs is a walking cinematic dictionary.
10. Balazs is a great writer. I think this is because of his amazing vocabulary and the fact that Hungarian is his first language. Balazs crafts sentences in a completely unique and interesting way. I hope one day he will write the screenplay of his dreams. I’m sure it would be a huge success.
11. Most people think Balazs is tough, even a little bit intimidating. This could not be further from the truth. He is extremely sensitive and wouldn’t hurt a fly. We actually have a tool in our house designed specifically for catching spiders so that we can safely take them outside. He uses it often.
12. Balazs has a very soft heart, but I have only seen him cry a handful of times. Once was when his beloved dog Zori died. I cried too. Zori was amazing and we still miss him.
13. Balazs has numerous tattoos. There is one on his arm of two jumping killer whales that symbolizes the fact he is a Gemini. The tattoo was done in the traditional Haida style of the indigenous people here in British Columbia. I studied Northwest Coast first nations art as an anthropology major in university. I also used to sketch Haida art daily as a teenager. Balazs got the tattoo because he liked the way it looked even though he didn’t know where it came from or anything about it. I was the first person he ever met who could explain his own tattoo to him.
14. Balazs is a ten-time world champion in the sport of extreme sleeping. Before Csilla was born, he could sleep 16 hours in a row. No problem. Now that Csilla is older, Balazs and I take turns sleeping in on weekends. He's in training and hopes to set the new world record again soon. He is sleeping right now.
15. Balazs is very good at loving me despite all my flaws. It takes a lot of patience to be with a nutbar like me and he has it in spades.
That’s it for now. I’ve probably already breached more of his privacy than Balazs would want me to. I get choked up thinking about loving him. Maybe I should stop typing and go give him a kiss.
With that being said, I’ll leave you with a few pictures of Balazs and I together. I’m posting these despite my nightmares. I’ve decided not to post photos of Csilla because I don’t want to bring her any unwanted attention. Balazs and I on the other hand, welcome your admiration. If you think we’re hot and want to stalk us, bring it on.
This last photo was taken when I was about five weeks pregnant with Csilla. We were ecstatic. You can’t manufacture that kind of twinkle in our eyes. It’s the real deal.
Oh. And sorry if those photos subliminally conjured up the Barney theme song for you.
In recognition of our tenth wedding anniversary, I had planned to write the story of how Balazs and I met. Instead, yesterday I wrote a silly story about a lost stuffed animal. I guess nobody will ever accuse me of having my priorities straight.
So. Happy tenth wedding anniversary to us.
I love you Balazs.