Friday, March 21, 2008

happy tenth wedding anniversary to us.

Ten years ago today, on a rainy Vancouver day, Balazs and I decided to marry each other.

It was a wonderful occassion that I will never forget. We had a small wedding surrounded by the people we love. I felt beautiful and Balazs looked handsome. There was no stress. Only laughter and love.

And even though Balazs and I are completely different people now, ten years later we still love each other.

And it hasn’t always been easy. Especially when Csilla was born and we both had to give up all of the selfish behaviour that had defined us for most of our lives. Especially when sleep became a thing of the past. Before Csilla was born, Balazs and I considered sleeping an extreme sport. We held the World Cup of Sleeping almost every weekend.

But now that Csilla is on the scene, we sleep less, but we work together more. I think I love Balazs The Father even more than I love Balazs The Husband. As a father, everything wonderful about his personality has been magnified. When I see Balazs with Csilla, the gentlest, kindest, funniest and most imaginative parts of his personality are allowed to shine.

Just the other day, I felt my heart swell with the idea that maybe the roughest parts of our relationship were over and the only place to go was up. I truly envisioned us enjoying old age together; laughing about the difficulties we had when Csilla was first born.

Rocking on the porch we would laugh out loud and say, “Do you remember the year when we said the word Divorce more than we said the words I Love You?”

“What we were thinking? Wasn’t that crazy?”

“Imagine all the wonderful memories we would have missed if we’d called it quits and given up?”

I hate to think about how heartbroken I would have felt if Balazs and I had decided to go our separate ways. All I can say is that I’m glad we didn’t give up. With a little give and take every day we are finding a way to be together and thrive.


On this, our tenth wedding anniversary, I thought I’d share a few little facts about my husband, Balazs, for your reading pleasure. (And in case you don’t want to read this entire post mumbling his name in your head, read the pronunciation guide in my sidebar).

1. Balazs is an extremely private person. (I, on the other hand, am an open book). But I respect his privacy, so you will not find Balazs on the pages of this blog very often. Today is your lucky day.

2. Balazs was born and raised in Budapest, Hungary and lived there until he moved to Vancouver when we got married.

3. Until 1989, Hungary was a communist country. Balazs recalls very clearly how difficult it was to grow up under the oppression of Russian occupation.

4. As a child, Balazs was obligated to become a member of the Communist Young Pioneers. He says it was sort of like the boy scouts for communists. I don’t know why, but my brother loves to bug him about this. We always laugh when he does.

5. Balazs learned to speak English by watching 21 Jump Street. Johnny Depp is still one of his heroes. 21 Jump Street was filmed in Vancouver. They once shot an episode in my best friend’s house when I was a teenager. Balazs and I saw Johnny Depp from about two feet away at the Cannes Film Festival. It was amazing. Andrea Bocelli’s Con Te Partiro was playing over the loud speakers. We played that song at our wedding. Listening to it just now as I linked to YouTube made me cry.

6. Balazs has a better vocabulary in English than I do, but still speaks with a slight accent. Most people think he is French.

7. Balazs is fiercely loyal. If he likes you and cares about you, he could and would literally walk to the end of the earth to help you.

8. Balazs is hilarious. Hilarious. Like, Jim-Carrey-totally-silly-crazy-kooky and ridonkulously funny hilarious. Unfortunately he lets very few people see this. Most people who have ever met him would probably say he is contained and polite.

9. Balazs is passionate about film. I have no use for Balazs is a walking cinematic dictionary.

10. Balazs is a great writer. I think this is because of his amazing vocabulary and the fact that Hungarian is his first language. Balazs crafts sentences in a completely unique and interesting way. I hope one day he will write the screenplay of his dreams. I’m sure it would be a huge success.

11. Most people think Balazs is tough, even a little bit intimidating. This could not be further from the truth. He is extremely sensitive and wouldn’t hurt a fly. We actually have a tool in our house designed specifically for catching spiders so that we can safely take them outside. He uses it often.

12. Balazs has a very soft heart, but I have only seen him cry a handful of times. Once was when his beloved dog Zori died. I cried too. Zori was amazing and we still miss him.

13. Balazs has numerous tattoos. There is one on his arm of two jumping killer whales that symbolizes the fact he is a Gemini. The tattoo was done in the traditional Haida style of the indigenous people here in British Columbia. I studied Northwest Coast first nations art as an anthropology major in university. I also used to sketch Haida art daily as a teenager. Balazs got the tattoo because he liked the way it looked even though he didn’t know where it came from or anything about it. I was the first person he ever met who could explain his own tattoo to him.

14. Balazs is a ten-time world champion in the sport of extreme sleeping. Before Csilla was born, he could sleep 16 hours in a row. No problem. Now that Csilla is older, Balazs and I take turns sleeping in on weekends. He's in training and hopes to set the new world record again soon. He is sleeping right now.

15. Balazs is very good at loving me despite all my flaws. It takes a lot of patience to be with a nutbar like me and he has it in spades.

That’s it for now. I’ve probably already breached more of his privacy than Balazs would want me to. I get choked up thinking about loving him. Maybe I should stop typing and go give him a kiss.

With that being said, I’ll leave you with a few pictures of Balazs and I together. I’m posting these despite my nightmares. I’ve decided not to post photos of Csilla because I don’t want to bring her any unwanted attention. Balazs and I on the other hand, welcome your admiration. If you think we’re hot and want to stalk us, bring it on.

This last photo was taken when I was about five weeks pregnant with Csilla. We were ecstatic. You can’t manufacture that kind of twinkle in our eyes. It’s the real deal.

Oh. And sorry if those photos subliminally conjured up the Barney theme song for you.

In recognition of our tenth wedding anniversary, I had planned to write the story of how Balazs and I met. Instead, yesterday I wrote a silly story about a lost stuffed animal. I guess nobody will ever accuse me of having my priorities straight.

So. Happy tenth wedding anniversary to us.

I love you Balazs.


Jan said...

You guys are a drop dead gorgeous couple. Wow. I love your love list. I can really feel he is a wonderful man and husband. Happy
10th. I hope you get a chance to have a wonderful evening. You are so sweet Carolyn.

Corey~living and loving said...

really great post!
you both are stunningly beautiful. I'm glad you posted the pics. I enjoy seeing you both.

Marriage is hard, and I am so glad you are coming out the other side of a really stressful time. I can so relate.

jennifer h said...

You are a beautiful couple! And this was a beautiful tribute to your anniversary. It sounds like you've made a sweet family together.

Lovely, all of it.

ciara said...

my x and i, if we had committed to it, would have been married 12 yrs now...but i did, he didn't. so there ya go! LOL now i'm on marriage #2 and Nov. will be 4 years...some days, i wonder if i'm even cut out for marriage ha ha.

anyways, happy 10th anniversary! here's to many more *cheers*

p.s. you two are adorable enough to stalk hehehe i love the wedding photo.

Maggie May said...

Happy 10th Wedding anniversary. You make a very handsome couple.
Thanks for your advice. i will attempt the link now!

Nuts in May

Kaycie said...

Happy Anniversary!

Hubby and I will be married 11 years in six days. Or seven. Neither one of us can remember. We celebrated the wrong day for years. Now I look first. ;)

You two are adorable. You look incredibly young in the first two photos. Heck, you still look young in that last one.

I'm 40. You look like kids to me. I feel old now.

Carla Marion Peritz said...

Wow! Congrats on your 10th. That is wonderful. I was uplifted by what you wrote about not quitting and about the year you mentioned divorce more than love. That has really hit home for me all the way down here in Texas...and I've only been married 4 and 1/2 years. I think I was meant to read your post today after being unplugged for a few days battling morning/all day sickness. Oh, and I love LOVE your use of the word "nutbar". I've been using "nutBAG" a lot lately in describing myself, but I might have to rip that off. Cheers!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Happy, Happy Happy Anniversary to you both.

That was a lovely tribute and the two of you look fabulous, darling.

softinthehead said...

Congrats, yes I agree - what a gorgeous couple you are! Carolyn I was convinced after your bike+hill experience you must look like a troll :) Glad to see you made a complete recovery. Lovely post.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Happy Anniversary!

Johnny Virgil said...

congrats! happy anniversary!

Angella said...

This was a wonderful, beautiful post.

And you two are wonderful, beautiful people.

Amidst all of the beauty and wondrousness, one thing stuck out.

21 Jump Street.

I had a HUGE poster of Johnny Depp on my wall for YEARS, thanks to that show :)

Happy Anniversary!

Here is to 100 more!

B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

Happy Anniversary!

Mummy sed to tell yu that yu look bewtifoll an she luvs yor dress.

There. I sed it.

I just want to point out that I'm a boy an don't understand that bit abowt the dress at all.


Jen said...

Oh, what a sweet sweet post! I loved it!! I just love all of your blog! Happy Anniversary to you both!! BTW-I'm singing Barney now!!

Oh and that's awesome you're an Anthropology major too! :)

I need to go comment on more of your posts as they're great and funny and real. :)

aims said...

Thank you for directing me to this post.

My father's side of the family is Hungarian. My father was so ashamed of that because of the dirty 30's and the fact that they called him a bohunk..that he changed his name. I didn't even know I was Hungarian until I was in my late 20's.

I am proud of that fact - and most of the history of my Dad's side of the family is almost gone now. I think that is incredibly sad. All I know is that his parents escaped the country and came to Canada. They lived in Saskatchewan and barely survived. Everyone thinks I speak with an accent. I say it is my speech impediment - others say I sound like my father....

Happy 10th! You do indeed make a great looking couple!