Note to self:
Lighten up Carolyn!
After re-reading that last post and the few comments so far, I must say that you really need to stop being so hard on yourself. Yesterday was just a frustrating day. Chalk it up to insomnia and waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Nothing that happened was particularly horrible. Mum mums on the carpet? Are you serious? That's what you yelled at Csilla for? Don't be crazy. You're doing great. Csilla loves you and you love her. The most important thing you can do as a mother is teach Csilla how to trust in your unconditional love. A dirty carpet will never matter. Not today or any day in the future.
And as for your incessant need to entertain Csilla all day and try to be the perfect mom? Well, get over it. It's never going to happen. Remember this:
"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one". - Jill Churchill
So suck it up Mama!
Oh. And while you're busy giving yourself a break, stop worrying about how stupid and melodramatic that last post might have made you sound. It's your blog. Use it how you want. Who cares what people think. Just have fun and enjoy the process.