Thursday, March 27, 2008

a perfect mother.

Note to self:

Lighten up Carolyn!

After re-reading that last post and the few comments so far, I must say that you really need to stop being so hard on yourself. Yesterday was just a frustrating day. Chalk it up to insomnia and waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Nothing that happened was particularly horrible. Mum mums on the carpet? Are you serious? That's what you yelled at Csilla for? Don't be crazy. You're doing great. Csilla loves you and you love her. The most important thing you can do as a mother is teach Csilla how to trust in your unconditional love. A dirty carpet will never matter. Not today or any day in the future.

And as for your incessant need to entertain Csilla all day and try to be the perfect mom? Well, get over it. It's never going to happen. Remember this:

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one". - Jill Churchill

So suck it up Mama!

Oh. And while you're busy giving yourself a break, stop worrying about how stupid and melodramatic that last post might have made you sound. It's your blog. Use it how you want. Who cares what people think. Just have fun and enjoy the process.


Kaycie said...

Who cares what people think is exactly the right attitude. What you, Balaz and Csilla think, that is what matters.

She's a beautiful, happy kid. You must be doing a lot right. (It gets easier the longer you do it. Really.)

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

I nominated you for a best of blog award in the best mommy blog section. Your posts are priceless. I left you a comment in your previous post - you know the one - just a couple of words short of war and peace! Just a joke - it was fantastic.

Corey~living and loving said...

hey girl.....I think you are about as normal as normal gets. It isn't easy being home days and days and days in a row with a child. It can wear you down. As much as you love them....they can slowly kill you. LOL just kidding.
However, when you are tired like that....their constant doing what a child does best can really be un-nerving. Hang in there mama.
YOu are a wonderful mom.
I do think you need to give yourself a break, and not try to entertain her so much. It would do you both some good to help her learn how to entertain herself more.
hugs....and more hugs.

Jules said...

I think that everybody has said to you what I wanted to *sigh* But I'll say it again anyway.

You write fabulously well (I'm so jealous). You have a super-cutie for a daughter and you get to stay home and play girl stuff all day, you lucky thing (this from a mum of boys).

And I'm coherent at midnight too (well sort of). :)

Have a nice weekend, and remember "perfect mothers rule!!" That's you girl!

Maggie May said...

What's a bit of mess on a carpet? You sound quite normal compared to our family!

softinthehead said...

Obviously the rant did the trick, thank goodness for blogging eh!? :)

Jan said...

Yeah. I think you got the right idea in your nogin now. You were being way to hard on yourself and I say lighten up too. We all needed this reminder Carolyn. The sun will come shining soon and the days will be easier to fill. Eat a marshmellow and dance around the kitchen today and sing at the top of your lungs the I WILL SURVIVE song and then roll on the floor laughing. It works for me. I just don't like marshmellows though. I would choose chocolate.
Later. Jan

the mother of this lot said...

Dirty carpet? You need a trip to our house.

jennifer h said...

Exactly. Perspective is a wonderful thing.

Carolyn said...

Thanks everybody!

Kaycie - Despite how much I beat myself up, I'm extremely proud of how Csilla is turning out. She's a delightful, kind and thoughtful little girl. I couldn't be more proud. I know I must be doing something right, it's just that I get mad a myself for falling down on the job once in a while.

MOB - THANKS! Yer awesome and I totally welcome long comments. Say whatever it is you want to say. I'm not paying for the server space, so go for it.

Corey - Thanks. I do need to give myself a break, and I will try to. It's hard when you love a kid that much. You want to give everything of yourself to them. "They slowly kill you..." LOL! You of all people can understand this, my mom sometimes jokes that Csilla is "sucking the life out of me". Literally!

Jules - Thanks for being so coherent even after bedtime. I appreciate what you said. Go Moms Go!

Maggie - Yes! And besides, I have a Dyson.

Soft - Seems it did! I feel much better.

Jan - I usually choose chocolate too. And my song is "Simply the Best" - I think it's by Tina Turner. It reminds me of a hilarious scene in the original British series The Office and a very funny thing that happened in the hospital the day after Csilla was born.

MOTL - Again, we have a Dyson. It's awesome. But didn't you just get a new vacuum?

Jennifer - love that perspective stuff. Works every time. One of my favourite sayings is "What a difference a day makes". How true...