Thursday, March 6, 2008

you're gonna be a rock star.

Three posts tonight. Oooops. With so much to say after being sick, what's one more going to hurt?

I just ordered a new cell phone handset and it arrived yesterday. Here’s how the whole thing went down:

Antiquated SIM card + new phone = no features = many calls to cell phone company = me very frustrated = me accidentally downloading free (but not really free) features that should have come with phone but didn’t because of aforementioned antiquated SIM card = more calls to cell phone company = discovery that I accidentally spent about $20 on free (but not really free) features that should have come with the phone but didn’t = me very very frustrated!

SCENE:

INT. DEN – MID MORNING.

FADE IN:

A WOMAN sits hunched in a chair. She madly presses buttons on a fancy new cell phone, grumbling and mumbling sounds of frustration and discontent. The woman stifles profanities under the assumption that her kid with super-human hearing is within earshot.

Enter CSILLA, a super sweet little miniature person with amazing powers of perception and empathy. She’s adorable; and notices right away that something is wrong.

CSILLA (sweetly)
Are you okay Mama?

MAMA (grunts)
No.

CSILLA (sweetly)
Mama? Don’t you like your new cell phone?

MAMA (grunts)
No.

CSILLA (sweetly)
Are you frustrated?

MAMA (grunts)
Yes.

CSILLA
Oh Mama, Joe says when you’re frustrated you’re supposed to Stop. Breathe. And Think. That’s what Blue did when she lost her backpack. It was behind the tree in the backyard.

MAMA (looks up, smiles, softens)
You’re right baby. You’re so smart. That’s exactly what Mama should do. Stop. Breathe. And Think.

Csilla smiles proudly.

Just then, Mama accidentally hits a button on the cell phone setting off an obnoxiously loud free (but not really free) ringtone.

PHONE (loud music with singing and heavy guitar)
You’re gonna be a rockstar! You’re gonna be a rockstar! You're gonna be a rockstar!

At the sound of the music, Csilla breaks into a crazy dance complete with hip shimmies, bum shaking, closed eyes and air-guitar solo. Mama bursts out laughing.

The music stops.

CSILLA (yells)
Play it again, Mama! Again! I’m gonna be a rockstar!!

Mama hits the button again.

PHONE (louder)
You’re gonna be a rockstar! You’re gonna be a rockstar!

Csilla breaks into more dance. Mama bursts into more laugher.

Csilla runs to get her sunglasses as Mama repeatedly hits the ringtone button. More dancing. More laughing. More obnoxiously loud free (but not really free) music.

Maybe Mama likes her new phone after all.

FADE TO BLACK.


[Edit - Photo removed because I've been having nightmares.]

Csilla, the Rock Star, subsequently wore sunglasses for the rest of the day; and at the insistence of said Rock Star, Sweetie Bear (the bear formerly known as Princess Happybottom) also wore sunglasses all day too.


3 comments:

Kaycie said...

Priceless.

That's how cell companies should advertise their phones.

Jan said...

I love her pet of the day. That was really cute how she turned frustrated moment in to rockin moment. She is a rockstar. Hope you get that phone understood. Those things. I tell ya.

Maggie May said...

She is a BEAUTIFUL would be rock star!